Everything and Nothing

Oh yeah, I really can be this happy

It's an interesting paradox. How can you have everything and nothing at the same time? It's like feeling everything at once that you feel nothing. Apparently Stravinsky wrote about how when he sits down to compose he is overcome with fear because he doesn't know where to begin. At that one instance everything and nothing is possible. I've experienced the same fear when I sit down to write any paper. The screen stares at you and you have these dreams about what you will create but at the same time you feel like you will never create anything. Recently I've felt this way about life. I'm staring at a blank slate and I can create anything but at the same time I feel like I will never create anything. I've felt like I'm lost in a maze with no end and all I can do is keep walking or sit down and stare at the sky. Everything and nothing is possible. The real freedom only comes after we start making decisions which give us some constraint and then we are free to move. Well I'm proud to say I've made a decision. I finally realized a dream and I'm chasing it. I don't know how I will get there, I don't know if I'll make it, and I don't even think it will be as wonderful as I'm dreaming but I'm going to die trying because it's better than just existing in this world. There, done, am I running? Probably.